Mind is blank..I am thinking non stop and I am reformulating non stop but yet my mind is blank. I look at people walking around, I look how much work is piled up on my desk yet I don't see anything. How it could be?
How when we have so many thoughts and ideas and visions we still feel blank? Its as if silence has taken over the mind and it has gone on a holiday. I see a woman shopping - she is happy, she is excited, she is talking and moving and smiling. But today I am not curious to know who she is, what she does, why is she shopping, what is she buying...is it the silence of my brain or I don't find her interesting enough.
You know that I just can't think enough. I just want to sit and look around, no thinking, no talking, no assessing someone, just look around. Can I do that?
Yes I surely can. My mind has the ability to block and to focus only on what is relevant and what is important and currently, nothing is relevant or important.
May be its the boredom - no interesting people to talk with, no one around to look at but just an empty space looking back at you and laughing. Laughing because you are alone, laughing because the others are busy, laughing because you're still there. But am I laughing...
No, I am not laughing. I am not happy. I am not satisfied. I am not interested. I changed - I changed to help myself. I need to do this. I need to sit and keep my mind blank. My mind needs to relax, my mind needs to focus, it needs a lot of energy to ensure it can help me later. I will not do anything today. I will sit and look around. I don't have the energy to do more. I don't want to do more. I am sleepy, I am tired, I want to leave, I ... , I... , I...
I, me and myself...the 3 important tasks for the day. Let me focus on these and let me enjoy my company. Let me be happy and let me shine in my own space. I don't need a fan club to follow me around - all I need is a stable mind and a thought to surround.
Let me go...don't stop me today; my mind is sleeping...let me go on a holiday.
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