The 2 Extremes

I start the car with much hesitation...my hands do not have the strength to put the key in and my legs have lost the power to press the break. But my heart is forcing me to drive and reach home. It is time to be home with loved ones. I talk to myself and play the music loud, I cheer myself by singing and I start. My brain is not listening to me or to this loud music. It keeps telling me "close your eyes", take a deep breath, let it go, sink in the deep sleep. It is almost impossible to keep my eyes open. Shaking my head and trying to dance to the music I am trying to keep myself awake. There I go...driving out of parking. The road is straight, the road is endless, the traffic is moving and so are my thoughts. I want to reach home and I want to reach safe. I do not have control on myself any more...my brain is asleep it seems. I drive through the busy road and I have the traffic go past me, I feel I am swirling in my seat and I have taken a nap, I can't see anything a